Miss Maddy

Always in the Tub!

I found my baby on Craigslist, she was going to be in town for the weekend,  then gone forever.   I had to jump and meet her.  I called the number and set up a meeting place.  God had answered my prayers.  He found us a great dog and got her a ride to us.... all the way from Texas!  A truck driver found her starving, dehydrated and full of fleas at a steel plant in Texas.  He felt bad for her, no one had any objections to him taking her, so he fed her, watered her, gave her 3 flea baths, and posted her to Craigslist where I found her.  He couldn't keep her, but he was certainly not going to leave her there!   When I called, I had a few tests to pass.  I had to have a house in the country, (check!)  I had to have kids, (check)  I had to promise to love and take care of her.  (Check and Check!)  When I brought the kids to meet her, it was love at first sight!  She loved them and they loved her.  We couldn't wait to take her home, I felt bad for her Hero truck driver,  having to lose his companion for the past 3 days.  He said he was okay, he knew she would be happy.  He was right, everyday she greats us all happily.  We look forward to her, she pounces like a cat!   She is also a very dirty dog, she loves to roll in things better left unmentioned,  needless to say she takes alot of baths!  We love her though, one little quirk for all the love and joy we get from her!!  She is a blessing, smart puppy, she learns very fast.  I also think she smiles when I scratch her behind the ears, she likes that best.  My favorite thing she does, is definitely when she gets low like a tiger on the plains of Africa,  stalks her prey (my kids), as they come across the lawn, she lays low, slowly moving in on them, as they come around the bend she pounces!  Back packs and lunch boxes go flying, screams can be heard for miles.  MADDY! NO!!!  I watch from the window, I laugh, tears coming from my eyes,  she strikes again!  That just never gets old.  They will never learn, she ALWAYS strikes in the valley.  It's the low point, they can't see her. :)

How about you, does your dog have quirks, do they antagonize your family, do you find the humor in it?

The Cross We Bear

The cross we bear is all to often for our benefit, and sometimes for that of someone else.  In that way our cross is a blessing, because is saves others from suffering, it is enough for them to experience it through us.  Much like Christ suffered for us.  We reap the benefits with out having to go through what He did.  I have had the honor of recently suffered and had 2 loved ones tell me how they have benefited from it.

But penance need not be paid in suffering...It can be paid in forward motion. Correcting the mistake is a positive move, a nurturing move.

Barbara Hall, A Summons to New Orleans, 2000

In the first week of "remission" (I'm using this for a lack of a better word) of battling depression and an unstable home turning to anti depressants and family therapy for a solution.   A loved one told me that her husband was more attentive to her and her needs after hearing and seeing my ordeal with my beloved husband.   I could only smile thru the tears and tell her that I was happy that my misery inadvertently brought her happiness.  I was genuinely sincere in that statement.  Her happiness became mine.

Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.

Helen Keller
US blind & deaf educator (1880 - 1968)

Another friend told me recently, that my courage to go seek help from a professional to help me pave my way toward happiness encouraged her to do the same.  After one night she feels the weight of burden relieved from her shoulders.  Again  I said the same.  I am happy for her happiness.
Only God knows why He does the things He does, it is our job to live through them and find the meaning for us.  Obviously I was meant to learn and remind others of things they have already learned.  I am finding me again, and if others find themselves in the process, so much the better!

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.

Helen Keller
US blind & deaf educator (1880 - 1968)

How about you?  Has Jesus brought you to your knees and helped you learn and be humbled?  I thank Him for His wisdom and for bringing me through this process so that I may be a better wife and mother.

Not Certifiably So.

OK, I can do this.  Yes, this has been a Very difficult time.  We are up, we are down,  the roller coaster of life has apparently got me worse than I knew.  After too much hell, I have been made aware that it was time I seek help.  Not only for my benefit, but that of my children.  And hopefully that of my husband.  I'm not sure that I should be putting this out there, but this is my blog and I started this to help with the nic fits and crappiness of quitting.   So with that the confession begins.  How I got to this point.

Job stress +  financial stress + family stress + quitting smoking cold turkey x 12+ months brewing time = severe anxiety, depression, panic attacks, hot flashes, anger/irritability, mood swings, etc.

Huh... Who knew!  Well,  now what?   According to the good doc, she wants to know if she can put me on nicotine replacement.........(crickets chirping)...............(yet more crickets)...............
You have GOT to be kidding me!  (did I mention mood swings?)  I did Not make it this long for you to put nicotine back into my system.  No way, No how, Not Happening!! (insert frustrated crying) 
Would you mind going on some medication?  (Deep breath, panic attack....Breathe!)
UHHH, don't you think I already have an issue with addiction?  I really cant take any more battles.
(Patronizing smile) Cindy, you can't get addicted to this, you can only feel normal.  Would you like to feel normal again? 
Does a fish like to swim?  Hell Yes!  But honestly Doc, this pill thing makes me nervous. 
It will take 2 to 3 weeks to take effect, come see me then.
Breathe...Deeper.....Release. 
OK, fine.  (I can do this.... I think)