Blessings

After writing Soul Searching, I decided that there had to be a way to work on correcting my overly critical behavior.  After extensive research, ;-) I stumbled upon a beginning to a solution.  (It amazes me how God leads you to his path when you need him.)    That answer is blessings...  I don't remember the last time that I actually thanked people for things they have said, done, or experienced with or for me.  I tell God, but not the person.  For me, I am more thankful for people in my life than anything else.  Yes, I appreciate my house, my food, my job, my van.  The only person I can thank for those things, other than God, is my husband.  My life wouldn't be as easy, if not for my honey or God.  But I'm not looking for "things or possessions to be thankful for.  I'm looking for daily things I take for granted, like watching my kids, the work my kids put into the house.  People bringing my kids places, because I cant be there.  Friends who answer the phone when I need them to.  People who are there for me, really there, every time.  It  is time that I give them notice, and appreciation.  The thought is that if I take time to see how blessed I am, I will have less to be critical of.  So here's to seeing the glass half full, and a few quotes to leave you inspired.

For today and its blessings, I owe the world an attitude of gratitude.

~Unknown

 You can not control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change, rather than allowing it to master you.

~Brian Tracy

The problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude about the problem.

~Unknown

Starting today my philosophy is to be kind to those you love, don't forget to say thank you and I love you.    Now I have a few cards to write, address, put a stamp on, and deliver to the mailbox.  Cards are nice, I think that we all miss receiving mail that is pleasure-able instead of bills and spam.  My thanks is delivered with a smiling heart, knowing that the receiver will smile in their hearts.  How about you, what are you thankful for?  When was the last time you received a card in the mail?  Did it make your heart smile?  Leave me a  comment, I would love to hear about it!

~Cindy

Soul Searching

Life has a way of catching you off guard.  I am often blind sighted by lifes events, spun around and left in a daze that honestly leave me saying "What the heck happend?" for days.   I have spent the last week doing some real soul searching and internet surfing, to find out how I miss warning signs from others.  I can honestly tell you that  I don't really like the answer.  I'm in denial.  I'm getting to the part of acceptance, because I really want to fix this... errr... problem of mine.  I'm still doing research.  But what I found out is that I have control problem, stemed from my anxiety and inner self doubt. (What self doubt?)
The part of me that says "I am WOMAN, hear me ROAR!" just rolls her eyes, and says "Yeah, right."  However,  the part of me that is filled with self doubt, she goes "Am I?"  So, I am going to try to not let my doubt in, I am going to try to recongize things that are out of my control.   At least make a consicous effort too.  My dad always told me to give things to God, and when I do, I have to leave it up to him.  No passing papers, as he puts it.  Once a problem has been submitted to God, it can not be taken back.  (Whew, deep breath)  Smell the flowers, blow out the candles.
I am only human, and I will try to do my best.  I can lower my expectations of others, they may be too high. 

Packers, Picnics, and Tourneys

Anyone catch the Pack Thurs. night?  I listened in the car, then watched until the beginning of the 3rd.  That was enough, I had to be up early..  Darn it, it is just Pre Season,  I hope they get their bearings soon.  That was hard to endure.  Lets just hope they get the losing outta their system!  :-)

Went to a Customer Appreciation,  it rained,  downpoured actually.  That didn't stop the kids from playing though. they were determined to get their prizes.  I wonder were they get that competitive spirit???  Hmm,  IDK, I will have to think on that.

I got invited to play softball for a team that needed an extra for tournaments this weekend.  I looked at my leg, and thought, ahhh why not.  I just found out Tues. that I bruised my thigh bone and shin bone (love the technicals!) doing a flying snap kick.  A FLYING WHAT!  You heard me,  a flying snap kick,  it looks a lot like the Karate Kids winning move in the first movie.  You know the one he practiced for on the posts, then with a broken leg, still manages to pull it off.... He is way cooler than me, because with two good legs, I still landed wrong.  No, it wasn't the first time I did it either.  But I promise, it will be the last. (ahem... maybe)  Did I mention I tore a part of my ACL too?  But that's OK, I will still play ball!  Doc said I can play sports, as long as I wear my brace, and only play at 80%.  Sweeeeeet! I'll take it! (Just for the record I did check things out on the Internet to make sure I heard him right.)  You can read about it here.
So back to the game.  I get there, I'm nervous, my blood is just pumping though my veins like a freight train.  I watch everyone hitting the ball, cool, I got this, I say.  I walk up to the plate, take a deep cleansing breathe, and wait.  The pitcher throws, the ball is way high, and drops on the plate, STRIKE!  What the hell was THAT, I think.  Deep breath, dig in my cleats, ball comes in high, drops in the dirt in front of the plate,  GOOD EYE, they all yell.  Roll the bat, breathe, dig the cleats, ball comes in high, I watch and swing as it comes down.....
I missed. STRIKE!
Damn!
"That's it" my cousin says.
"I got one more" I say.
"No, 2 strikes, 3 balls in this league"  he replies
My heart hits the dirt, this is harder that I thought it was gonna be.  The rest of the game played that way.  At least I knew I only had 2 chances this time.  I played like a newbie.  Guess I was.
During our wait for the second game, our pitcher took pity on me, and gave me some practice and tips.  I gave it a good effort. (I know because I pulled the muscles in my right ribs for my effort!)
What a good guy, he deserved a Leininkugals for that!  I made sure to get him one, wanted to give him a hug too, but that would be....  well.....weird.
Our second game, I hit the ball a total of 4 times that I was at bat.  2 times I never made it to first, then I was out on the way to 2nd, and the 4th at bat, I made it to second, but our inning ended. I got one out too!  I'm hoping to make it home tomorrow,  WISH me luck and don't forget to pray for the teams and my health,  especially my ribs and knee!

Packers, kids, and tourneys  barely know when the right time to quit is.  Here's to all you who like to play, no matter the odds, weather or injuries.
KEEP ON, KEEPING ON!

Under Construction

Well, I am one month away from being 2 years smoke-free.  It has been anything but a picnic.  Do I regret it?  Most certainly not! I have decided that this blog is seriously outdated.  I will be reconstructing it to fit my new needs.  The battle is no longer about fighting nicotine fits, it will be about eating clean, exercising, and of course family and spiritual outlooks.  I will be introducing you to my new online inspirations, some you may already know, they are still wonderful and uplifting writers that I thoroughly enjoy.  In the mean time I am going to be posting about daily goals, to get me on track.  I have already started "dipping my big toe in the water", by doing the Mayo Clinic Diet.  I have also been testing recipes from The Gracious Pantry, of which I have yet to find one I do not like!  :-)  I have continued my Kyuki-Do, and will be earning my blue belt on Aug. 30, 2012.  I must admit that it has taken me a lot longer to get to, than I had envisioned.  I believed that I would have a black belt in 2 to 3 years.  It has been almost 2 years since I started and am only getting to the 6th belt now.  Guess I needed more growing than previously thought! LOL.
My exercise guru will be Fit Mama, I have been checking this girl out for a few weeks, and I absolutely love her!  She is a motivator, up lifter, and a no B.S. girl.  I can totally respect that.
So this is the beginning of my plan to get back on track.  The fun-loving, no pity, no depression, happy me!  So this site is under construction to reflect new purpose and direction.

See you tomorrow!

Heading South

Life is full of ups and downs, lately I haven't blogged because, I felt that the drama was to much to share.  I have spoke of my depression, and that I'm trying to get a handle on things.  I recently had surgery to take care of my shoulder problem, and it seems to be helping.  I'm back in Martial Arts, and that too makes me happy.  I quit taking my pills for a bit and found myself sliding back into the abyss, it's not right to have to take pills so that you can enjoy your family.  Sad really. 
On a brighter note, my hubby and I decided to take our kids to Disney World for the first time.  The oldest are still young enough to enjoy it and youngest are old enough to remember it.  That seems like a good way to start out the year right?  Last weekend we took them to Monster Jam in the Metro dome in Minneapolis.  What a hoot!  We got to see Grave Digger the Monster Jam Icon, and I became a fan of El Toro Loco, who I might add has a woman for a driver!  How cool is that?!  Oh and did I mention that we will be driving to D.W.?  It is an estimated 24 to 26 hour drive straight through.  Crazy.... Maybe, but we will spend $500 in gas instead of $2000+ in air fare (and our kids wont be molested by TSA agents either).  So hopefully all goes well this upcoming week. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and trusting in the Lord for a safe drive to and from Florida!  How about you? Doing any fun family events this year? If so please comment and share!  Thank you and God Bless :-)
~Cindy