Monday, August 27, 2012

Soul Searching

Life has a way of catching you off guard.  I am often blind sighted by lifes events, spun around and left in a daze that honestly leave me saying "What the heck happend?" for days.   I have spent the last week doing some real soul searching and internet surfing, to find out how I miss warning signs from others.  I can honestly tell you that  I don't really like the answer.  I'm in denial.  I'm getting to the part of acceptance, because I really want to fix this... errr... problem of mine.  I'm still doing research.  But what I found out is that I have control problem, stemed from my anxiety and inner self doubt. (What self doubt?)
The part of me that says "I am WOMAN, hear me ROAR!" just rolls her eyes, and says "Yeah, right."  However,  the part of me that is filled with self doubt, she goes "Am I?"  So, I am going to try to not let my doubt in, I am going to try to recongize things that are out of my control.   At least make a consicous effort too.  My dad always told me to give things to God, and when I do, I have to leave it up to him.  No passing papers, as he puts it.  Once a problem has been submitted to God, it can not be taken back.  (Whew, deep breath)  Smell the flowers, blow out the candles.
I am only human, and I will try to do my best.  I can lower my expectations of others, they may be too high. 

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