Quit Smoking Tips

Quit Smoking Tips Yea! A site that is easy to navigate, and helpful! I couldn't be happier :)

The Best New Year Memory

I get excited over the New Year every year!   It has special meaning for me, besides being a new beginning.  It is a constant date with a great memory for me.  Rewind with me if you will, to the New Year 2002, only seconds old.  I was at my brothers house, with all my siblings and their significant others.  We just screamed "Happy New Year!"  Everyone was kissing and hugging their loves.... everyone except me. (insert tear)  My brother in law to be, looks at me, gathers me up in his arms and says in his beautiful southern drawl  "Aww, Cindee, ur times' a comin' grl.!  I predict it'll be this year!"  He laughs and hugs me again.  It was the new year, my brother claimed he needed his rest and kicked us out,  I decided that I needed more New Year action so my sister and aforementioned brother in law take me to a local bar where we knew we'd find our old friends.  Said friends were definitely there, we hugged and welcomed each other to the New Year!  As I was finishing up the line of friends, I got their extremely hot cousin that I had a crush on my entire life!  "Happy New Year Cindy" he beams at me.  He then promptly pulled me in for a hug, one that I wished would never end.  That was a wish that came true for me. That hot cousin is now my husband, and I am looking forward to a Happy New Year hug and smile just like the one I got back then. We got engaged Valentines Day 2002, and we married in August 2002.    If your reading this my love, thank you for being my wish come true, Happy New Year and please, don't forget to kiss me!

The Nitty Grittttty of It All

OK Peeps, I have finally started doing some research on Blogging.  In fact I am reading "Blogging For Dummies', by Susannah Gardner.  If you want to check out her blog or books click here.  I realize I may have made some mistakes in blogging.  If I have offended you by not commenting on your comments I apologize, or if I talked about you and accidentally offend you I apologize for that too.  I also want you to know that I do try to not use names, some of you know who I'm talking about when I say my oldest child, my youngest boy, things of that nature.  I describe my children that way to avoid confusion more than anything.  Most people don't know who I'm talking about when I say Serena, it is clearer for them if I say my oldest daughter.  I found out that there is a code of ethics in blogging and was previously unaware of this too. The "Blogging for Dummies" Code of Ethics are listed here:

• Truth Telling and Honesty
• Admit Mistakes
• Dialogue

 There is an online discussion for ethics which you can check out by clicking here. 

Now that we have all that cleared up, I was reading my past posts to see how I've done.  My honest opinion is that I know I can do better.  My more recent posts make me look like life has been peaches and cream, I wish I could say it has been 100% of the time, in truth its been a struggle for me to maintain my cool.  I feel like Jekyll and Hyde! During the daytime I'm happy go lucky, smiley, joking with my co workers.  I'm good until all the static in the house starts.  Then I get jittery, my answers are short and curt, I can feel my blood pressure rise.  I avoid contact with my family, my husband reminds me to love up the kids.  What kind of life is this?  Is quitting smoking worth it?  When I can single out a kid, I do.  Yesterday, I was reading a book when my youngest boy wormed into my blanket.  I rolled into him and squished him, uncontrollable giggles rise from the blanket!  "Whats going on Buddy?" I ask. 
"You're squishin' me!" he squeals with delight, as he tries to wiggle free.  I yank my blanket off him and pull him into a big bear hug, which he returns enthusiastically. "I love you Mom" he tells me.  I get a tear in my eye, "I love you too Bud!"  Why can't I stay like this I wonder?  This is the mom they enjoy, not the one who bites their heads off for minute details.  It's stupid, even my Dr. is mystified by my lingering anger issues.  He believes they should be over too.  I won't take the anxiety medication, he believes the depression meds are useless since I can display happiness for a least half the day and both of us agree that nicotine replacement is a dumb idea since all the nicotine is outta my system.  I'm not sure where that leaves me other than being similar to bipolar Jekyll and Hyde.
So that's the nitty gritty, the good the bad and the ugly.  I'm a work in progress and so is my blog.  I promise to my family and to my readers that my blog and I will try to be better behaved!

Make It Count

I have been in search of ways to make myself a happier person, recently I have read "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne.  It was fascinating!  Basically it tells you, that you bring everything to you by your thoughts.  I decided to make this count.  As I walk around, I Bless everyone my eyes fall upon.  If they look particularly sad, or upset I ask God  "May your face shine upon them!"  I do this all day.  It makes my soul incredibly happy, it has become a habit.  In return I see happier people, more smiles, more people wishing me a great day.  I attract happy people to me.  Who wouldn't want to be surrounded by happy, smiley people?  It has affected my family life as well.  There is more laughter in my house this week, I believe it is because this is a blessed family, I know, I bless them everyday.  I love them. I make everyday count.  To you my faithful readers, Make It Count, wake up happy, Bless yourself and the ones you love.  Do not get out of bed until you promise to make yourself smile.  Make someone else smile, just one person, I promise this will bring you untold joy.  God Bless You, and may the Lord's face shine upon you in all that you do!

A Great Day

We slept in, all 5 of us!  A better beginning to a weekend could not have been accomplished. We made steak and eggs for breakfast.  Went ice fishing, it was warm we caught fish, but most we had to throw back, they were too small.  Came home dressed in our Kyuki Do uniforms and rang the Salvation Army  charity bell at a local grocery store.  I would highly recommend this,  it was fun and it was a good to teach the kids about donating and giving back to the community.  We then came home went sledding thanks to the 4 inches of snow we got last night!  Yippee, I love snow! :)  After that we went bowling, where my honey got a 134, not to shabby considering we haven't bowled in years.  No I wont tell you my score its not worth reporting. (smile)

Gratitude

I want to say thank you to my friends and family for supporting me, I wouldn't have made it this long without you.  Thank you from the deepest part of my heart!  Thank you God for walking with me and carrying  me when it was really tough.  Thank you for the following things:

• my family and friends
• 3 months smoke free encouragement
• getting my children on the bus for me
• my house
• my van
• being happy, healthy and safe
• our jobs
• time spent with loved ones (for the time I had and still have)

I thank you for all of this and not necessarily in this order.   Today it has come to my attention that gratitude is a powerful thing.  In order to be successful in anything, you must be grateful for what you have before you can get anything else.  I already feel like a blessed woman.  I have a family I love, and enjoy being with; what more could I need?  I want other things of course!  But in the end it is the love of family and God that will see me through.  Friends help too, oh I love you!

Whoa I made it!

Over this past weekend my honey and I had a lot of time to talk.  I found out that I quit smoking 12 weeks or 3 months ago today!  How awesome is that?  I've heard that this is a mile stone.  The next one is at 6 months, then a year.  I'm on my way to success, no stopping me now peps!  I feel good, I'm jacked, and hoping my anger issues will fade.  I see my doc on the 7th to see if we can do something about this shoulder issue, and maybe some happy pills to take care of some of my anger issues.  Still kinda roller coaster around here, I'm up then down...down...up briefly and back down, down.  Lol I'll chose to laugh now and I'll pay for it later.  Sad but true.  I signed my family up for the Kyuki Do leadership program, now we can go to more classes a week, purely selfish reasons of course.  All in all the no smoking pros still out weigh the cons.  My family says they still love me and want me to keep going, so I guess its "Full Steam Ahead!"

Tag Soup

Went huntin.
I'm not frontin'
the wolf
ate em' all.
The truth.
This fall
none to be
I had to see.

Loving Life

I love my life!  I love my family, friends, coworkers, my house, my accomplishment, my goals.... I could keep going on!  Thanksgiving is a good time to reassess things, make sure you are on the right track. I believe I am on the right track, I live for my goals.  My goals are me, who I am.  My friends it is time to do your homework, check and make sure that you are on the right track that your goals accurately depict you.  Live, Love, and Be Happy. Enjoy Thanksgiving, enjoy the day God gave to you! God Bless. :)

Let Your Heart Lead

My heart is making me do this, write this, become this.  Please bear with me.  It will be worth your time, your heart will be happier in doing so.  Mine is. 

"What ever does not destroy me, makes me stronger." ~Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

"Nothing is impossible to a willing heart." ~John Heywood

"I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning to sail my ship." ~Louisa May Alcott

"When the world says "Give Up", Hope whispers "Try It One More Time" ~Author Unknown

These quotes all have the same theme.  My favorite boot camp quote was "Keep on, Keepin' on!"  My Petty Officer would chant this to us as we were on the deck, doing push ups, jumping jacks or other forms of exercise well past our limits.  Or at least what we perceived to be our limits.  I graduated from boot camp to realize, that we can endure anything with the right motivation.  Sometimes you push yourself, sometimes someone has to put their boot up your ass, but none the less You are motivated!  In the end, if you want something, you will succeed, you will find a way and your heart will be happy!

Opening Day Lesson

Sorry no huge buck pics, not even a doe pic to show.  A lesson learned to share though.  Like I said, I am new to this whole hunting thing. (Its a good excuse, right?)  I walked in and got all settled in. Roasty toasty in the 17 degree morning, I can see my breath as the sun begins to rise.  My heartbeat starts to increase in anticipation, as the sun crests the horizon I start to hear shots being fired.  Any moment now, I smile.  I hear movement near where I came in.  A snort,he stomps his feet. He huffs and then..... nothing. 
Whats wrong?  Why didn't he come in?  This replayed to my amazement 4 times yesterday morning.   Yes 4 times I heard this.  By the 2nd time I knew they caught my scent.  I should have moved then.  I didn't. I stuck it out hoping I'd catch them as they tried to slink through.  That never happened though.  Today I will be moving my stand.  Sad.  It was a good spot, until I ruined it.  From now on, I will give trails a wide berth.  Lesson learned.

Deer Hunting, Mom style.

Well I think I'm all ready, I have my blaze orange, my ammo, stand is ready, I've printed out my topical maps, today I went and got my tags.   I am set!  This is my 2nd year attempting to get a deer. Last year didn't pan out so well, my motherly duties took over for the majority of the gun season.  Sick kids, what can I say.  This year I prepared... we got the dreaded flu shots.  This is the first year I have allowed my children to get the flu shot.  I am terrified that I made the wrong decision.  So far they are all healthy.... knock on wood.  I only got them the shot because it has Noro virus, H1N1, and one other bad flu bug immunity in it.  I figured this time it would be worth the try.  Healthy kids for deer hunting season, please Lord watch over my babies, keep them safe, healthy and happy.  Oh and Jesus, if its not too much to ask for, can I get my Buck on opening morning? :) In your mercy I pray, Amen.

Let It Snow!

I woke up this morning with a start, my first coherent thought was "Did it snow"?  I rolled over my hubby so I could see out the window, "Sweetie look it snowed!" I squealed with delight!  "Yes, I know." he sounded irritated but he still smiled at me.  Guess he was waiting for me to notice.   The kids also noticed when they got up, our youngest came running into the room squealing about the snow, proceeds to jump on our bed and points to the window to show her proof! She must take after me!  She is a perfect snow enthusiast, I couldn't have done better if I tried. :)  I sent my kids out to make a snowman, they didn't do half bad if you ask me.  And they used a doughnut for the mouth and Trix for eyes.  How creative, I used sticks and rocks.

Our First Snowman of The Year!

Nope I couldn't be happier than I was this morning.  Thank you God for such a great morning.  I enjoyed my family and the snow!



Its the beginning of November and their is only one thing I'm thinking about and it is not politics! Although I am happy to report that the phone has not rang yet tonight. :) Thank God elections are over.  I am thinking about hunting season.  Last year was my first year out and I am excited to try again this year.  I'm hoping that not smelling like a cigarette will help me get my deer.  I'm not to confident in that thought  I know many smokers who bag deer while smoking in the woods.  I have read articles about deer hunting and I am also thinking it takes luck and well prepared hunting grounds.  This hunter is trying to get all of her "ducks in a row", and be ready for opening day. :)

New Belts!

As you can see, we were tested and we succeeded!  I made 1 itty bitty mistake that  was overlooked by the board, and my boy did perfect!  IT was awesome, I really enjoyed my self tonight, and I believe my family did too.  All my kids were allowed to bow in with me tonight before the test, it seemed that everyone enjoyed seeing the youngest two on the mat.  It was a rewarding experience.  My husband, mom and family friend were all there tonight to support the two of us who tested.  It was great. A memorable experience for all. Here are some of the pics from tonight.  Sorry they are butt shots, our picture taker was behind us!

 I hope you enjoyed these pics I know that I did! And finally here we are receiving belts! :)

So here we are a family in Kyuki Do taking it one belt at a time!  Yellow belt here we come!

Quotes

I am trying to truly understand the words of the tenants of Kyuki Do.  I never really studied the words I use, and also I saw our classes future Black Belt get quizzed on them.  This week our tenant for the week is Courtesy. Dictionary.com has this to say about Courtesy-

1. excellence of manners or social conduct; polite behavior
2. a courteous, respectful or considerate act or expression
3. indulgence, consent or acquiesce
4. favor, help or generosity

• Related word: good manners.

Thinkexist has some interesting quotes, here are some of my favorite.

"Don't flatter yourself that friendship authorizes you to say disagreeable things to your intimates.  The nearer you come into relation with a person the more necessary do tact and courtesy become."
~ Oliver Wendall Holmes

"No one is to big to be courteous, but some are too little." ~ Unknown

"To be humble to superiors is duty, to equals courtesy, to inferiors nobleness."
~ Benjamin Franklin

"Be courteous to all, but intimate with few and those few be well tried before you give them your confidence."                                        ~ George Washington

"He who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love."
~ Proverbs

Thoughts for the soul, I think.  I'm honestly calmer for having taken the time to study this one little word.  So how does one teach something like courtesy?  That is probably only shown, never explained?  It is shown through our interactions with other people.  It is when a man holds a door for a woman, especially the old ones.t is when there is one slice of pizza  left and you both grab for it at the same time; which one of you will give it up for the other?  It is in our daily actions, its helping a loved one even though there are other things you'd rather be doing.  Its taking time to listen to others.

AHHHH!

Wow, I have made it 8 weeks smoke free!  I didn't know if I could make it this far.  It has been a family effort.  I must admit that I am no peach to live with.  I have been emotional, moody, and at times downright mean.  I asked my hubby the other night if I should go back to smoking so he could like me again.  Amazingly he said "No, we made it this far, let's keep going".  What a man!  He's a real John Wayne, he's tough and he don't take no crap.  Well actually he just lets it go in one ear and out the other.  I have been practicing for my yellow stripe in Kyuki Do, the test is Friday.  My older boy will be testing with me.  My two youngest earned their yellow (permanent marker) stripe  on Wed. of last week.  They were so proud, it brought tears to my eyes.  If I pass I will have to change the top pic to show off all of our new belts!

The Air Boat

I woke up this morning in a dream I did not want to wake up from.  It was so peaceful, relaxing, and wonderful.  I dreamt I was fishing on the air boat with my husband.  I don't recall catching any fish, I must admit.  The dream was more about being on the boat with someone I love, and that tranquility you feel when your out fishing.  It made me want to write about the air boat.  My husband bought the boat while we were still engaged, he took my daughter with him to pick it up.  They were so excited to show it to me when I got home from work.  I was in a state of shock to say the least.  I honestly didn't know Air boats existed in the state of Wisconsin.  That boat is the only toy we have left of our initial youth.  I sold my motorcycle for a lawn mower and he sold his ATV for other needed things.  I can't get rid of that thing, I love it.  I love the way we can go up the river when other boats have to shy away for fear of injured props.  I love how it is stable like a pontoon.  Most of all I love watching people looking at us as we drive by!  In case your wondering, it has a 69' Corvair Engine and it's length is just shy of 16" ft long.  Just short enough to not need a licence on it. We know because we watched the local DNR guy measure it 3 times!  We attract the DNR often, it is a rare fishing trip to not find our friends waiting for us when we come into the landing.  Our favorite is the one in Menomonie, he has the best sense of humor out of the rest.  He shares stories, tells us the trends for fish in the area.  Who wouldn't want that kind of info?  
It also has eight years of fishing stories linked to it.  I got my first Sturgeon on it and so did my Dad.  Most of our kids caught their first fish out of it.  We have camped with it, we have stayed camping on beaches on the river with it.  My heart is with that boat, I don't know if I could trade it in for any other kind.

My Honey At the Helm!

Just Thinkin Aloud

A lot of things are on my mind right now. At the end of the month I am testing for the next belt in Kyuki Do with my son.  How exciting!  I am also starting my new job on the first.  Perfect family hours. 6 to 2:30 no weekends no holiday.  Its perfect as I can get, without winning the lottery and never working again!  Of course Halloween is a little more than a week away, the kids are on a sugar trance in anticipation of the whole ordeal.  Wow, they are giddy to say the least.  I remember when I was a kid my mom would load the six of us up, take us to the people we knew in the country on the way to town.  My grandmother always gave us popcorn balls and apples. We loved it!  At every stop we would hear how scary, pretty, or cute we all looked, get hugs and kisses, our cheeks pinched and off we went to the next house.  It was such a family ordeal when I was a kid, it always lasted to 10 or 11 p.m.  We had a blast!  My children are never going to experience that.  Yes I bring them to see my family, but I have a time schedule to keep.  You can not start before 5 pm and you must be done by 7 pm to 8 pm depending on what city you go to.  No I'm not hurt that my children get less candy, personally I think they get more than I used to.  (maybe cause I never stopped dippin in the bucket!)  I just think we had more time to socialize with the neighbors, friends and family then.  We often met up with friends in town, found out who was giving the best and biggest candy bars, and who to stay away from cause they gave away practical things like toothbrushes.  By the way as a parent I love the toothbrush person!  I make sure to stop at your house every year! Thank you. :) We will see you out there on Halloween, and may the Scare Be With You! Stay safe, wear bright clothes.

On the same page.

I was checking out my favorite blog idontwearpinkcamotothewoods today and what do I see? A posting for a network full of cool outdoor stuff  partially created by another blog outdooress that I enjoy!  Its full of helpful hints, equipment reviews, and my personal favorite freebies.  They are even giving away shiny new Shimano reel, my personal favorite to use to catch fish. http://imnotcertainthatimnotcrazy.blogspot.com/2010/09/one-that-got-away.html
Sorry I couldn't resist reminding you that I do catch huge fish when I'm not kicking butt in martial arts!

So without further adieu I will give you the link to this great site that you must check out!

Just Click on the pic!

Enjoy and don't forget who ya got the great tip from!

Timing is everything.

Yes my friends and faithful followers, timing IS everything.  It can be the perfect or the worst time to do or say something. You always know exactly how you hit it! Today I hit the timing button wrong with my husband and my instructor hit the button perfect for me. My hubby and I just were not on the same page, both of us lost in that timing schedule. Where we went wrong was simple, he had the kids all day and needed some cave time.  Here I come asking questions he didn't feel like answering. He got snippy and I (being the newest nicotine free person in the family), took that wrong. Good news is that we can forgive and move on.  So after the wrong timing with him I went to Kyuki Do class and my instructor pushed us fast in class, got me moving  and working out my frustration.  It was key that he did that.  I was in no mood to listen to anyone.  Especially men.  You see I'm a bit of a chauvinist myself, once my hubby upsets me, I cant stand to be around the male species. ( Except my sons, they don't count.  They are boys.) So all I had to do was follow class and start to mellow out.  At the end of class my instructor starts in on our new weekly tenant, by this time I'm in a good mood and willing to listen.

Indomitable Spirit. (I love just the sound of that!)
This is how Yorkshire Academy of Korean Martial Arts explains it.  It is beautifully written.

In martial arts indomitable spirit is generally considered to be a refusal to be beaten, no matter how tough, talented or big your opponent may be.  However it is not only about being beaten by people.

In pursuit of our ambitions in life be we will inevitably meet obstacles and problems. Some may be minor and others seem insurmountable. ( For me, fighting to stay quit!)

It is easy and pleasant to work on an ambition when all appears to be going your way, you will feel confident and optimistic about the outcome.

However the times when we meet obstacles are when the strength of our indomitable spirit will dictate how far we get..

 Answers.com had this to say:

It would be used to describe someone who has a very strong character and will not give up. They cannot be subdued or overcome and will keep on trying. It might be applied to someone like an explorer or mountain climber who keeps going in difficult circumstances, where others would give up.

I don't see myself as someone who gives up easily.  I quit smoking an estimated 15 to 20 times before now. It has not been easy. Yet here I am trying again.  Yes I am a Quitter and I'm proud to say so!  As for me it is my Indomitable Spirit that will keep me going, with the help of God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. Not to mention my Fantastic Family, my Forgiving Friends and my Faithful Followers! :)

So you see, I wouldn't have been able to learn any of that if timing wasn't important.  My husband tested my will, my instructor worked the crap out of my will and then he fed my spirit.  It was important to make sure that my spirit was hungry to be fed. That hunger and timing was all supplied by God through these two amazing men.  Once again Praise Be to God!

Quotes

Going with Kyuki Do Tenant for the week which is self control.  My favorite from class is that self control is "not doing what you really want to do".  This little discussion which came from a young man about 13 years old.  I am impressed to say the least.  I obviously want a smoke but must restrain myself, to use self control not to.  At his young age he understands some of the depth of the word.  This following quote is from an unknown author, at least unknown to me.  If you know the origin of this one please let me know I would like to read more quotes from the author.

"It takes a little courage, and a little self control; And some grim determination, If you want to reach the goal.  It takes a deal of striving, and a firm and stern set chin.  No matter what the battle, If you really want to win.  Theres no easy pass to glory, Theres no road to fame.   Life, however we may view it, Is no simple parlor game; But its prizes call for fighting, For endurance and for grit.  For a rugged disposition and don't know when to quit."

I know this quote is a little long but it makes you think, and it makes you want to fight for your own battle.  For me that is quitting smoking and dealing with my anger and restlessness that comes with that.  I'm going to challenge you my faithful followers, what are you battling with?  What self control do you inhibit in your life styles?  Take a good long look at this quote, and evaluate your battle.  What answers do you come up with?  What questions?  Maybe you just have feelings that need to be released.  Maybe it empowers you.  Most of all I hope this quote makes you think.  Know that you are loved.  Know that there is strength in you.  Know that most battles are with yourself, once you are done fighting yourself, I want you to rise up and Scream to the Lord  "I am here Lord!  Hear Me and Let Me Be Healed!" 

"Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be."   ~George Sheehan

"Be yourself; everyone else is taken."  ~Oscar Wilde

Change is Good!

I know not every one likes change. I don't always like change myself, but sometimes I do.  Like my blog, it has to change,or I would get bored with it and then what would my Loyal followers read?  To my faithful followers I would like to inspire you to get a pic of yourself.  You all have beautiful faces or handsome as the case might be. (yes Tyler u are cute!)  No its not for the 192 people who looked at my post this week. Its for me, so I can see who I am writing to.  A little reminder if you will.  It does not have to be your face, it could be something I associate with you.(Angie honestly for you it would have to be a penguin!) :)  OK enough changing you, back to the all important Me, Me and yes more Me!  (Just kidding) (No I'm not!)
I told you I'd get back to you on the supervisor thing. No she does not hold a grudge, in fact she was most helpful today.  Yesterday I interviewed for a different position for my company and today I found out that I got it!  When I told my supervisor she was great, she congratulated me and gave me a high five.  I think we are good.  Well either that or she's counting the days til I'm gone. (lol) 

Thank God for Kyuki Do!

So it is Monday, awesome....Not!  I do as I'm told, I get into trouble.  Actually,I opened my mouth and that got me into trouble!  It happens a lot to me.  People just don't enjoy my truth.  Not the way I see things anyways.  I was so happy with my job and my supervisor too.  I'm hoping shes not the type to hold a grudge. (I'll let ya know) So the story plays out like this:  I have this pain in my shoulder, not new news to you all, but apparently took my supervisor by surprise today.  At lunch I put ice on it as instructed by the chiropractor.  This sent her into super sensitive mode. She became instantly worried that I was gonna get hurt worse, and get a work related injury.  I told her that I was fine, just following the Dr's orders.  I laughed and told her I was just getting old.  Apparently she does not have a sense of humor. I got to finish my lunch and then I got to go directly up to Employee Health, where I wasted their time, my time and my Dr's time so I could get a note that said I was fine.  I believe I said that from the get go.  But hey who am I to know my body's capabilities?  Oh yeah, I would be the owner of this fine piece of equipment.  I am 32 years old, its okay if I need a tune up.  I upset her because I asked "when did this place go political?"  It blew her top! For that I am sorry, but policy's are a political thing.  They become policy's because of some person or action that somehow decided that a policy must be manifested into the company.  It is as I said a political thing.  I hate being honest.  I need to just shut my mouth!  So there you have it. Shes upset, I'm upset.  BUT.... I got to go to Kyuki Do and learn about self control and boy do I need to learn that!  I got to spar. I got to quite literally kick someones ass!  Actually I didn't mean to.  We were sparing, he was 2 belts above me.  All I could do was try to block.  I finally got a chance and went for a snap kick to his side.  He turned for a block and I kicked his ass!  All we could do after that was try to keep our cool and not laugh.  That one moment turned my day around.  Thank you God for the opportunity to enjoy the rest of my day.  My glass is half full!

All things considered

Quick recap. Tomorrow will be 5 weeks quit smoking. Yea for me, kudos to my family, friends, and co-workers for putting up with me. (thank you).  Dog is fenced in again. It only cost a $100 to put in a new invisible fence line.  (My puppy is pouting and so are Grandma and Grandpa!)  2nd opinion on my shoulder says that I am suffering from Bursitis.


Bursitis is a painful inflammation of a bursa, such as in your shoulder joint, typically caused by overuse, injury or aging.

Soooo..... we are back to the "ageing" word again, also known as "degeneration".... I think I'll just cry!  It must be that I'm only happy doing hard work.  If I don't work my ass off at work I'm just not happy.  If its not heavy lifting and running around like a chicken with my head cut off, why even call it work?  (well honey, I'm off to Leisure!  See you tonight! Kiss Kiss)  See my point?  It has to be work. Work is work. Plain and simple.  Now why am I a hurting unit?  All I do is work, no big deal right?
Oh well what does the doc want, I'm not quitting working hard.  I cant help my age, I guess the only thing left is to do the Posture lessons!  Oh yea, I'm supposed to tie my arms down at night, so I don't sleep on them.  Where do these people go to school?  Tie my arms down?  (OK, Mr Burglar, give me a minute to untie myself, oh and by the way could you hand me my bat so I can beat you?)
I'm just saying.

A Good Day

Today was relatively pain free, I am happy to report!  I only had a dull ache in my right shoulder by the time I got to my chiropractor.  She has decided to tell me that I am suffering from Degeneration...does that mean I'm getting old?  I think so, I think that its the nice way of saying in a few years you will be headed to the nursing home.  Here's your walker, on Sunday's your family will visit and watch the Packer game with you. Enjoy!  No I am kidding(about the nursing home part anyway)!  The prescription includes back and neck crackings (my terms), electro stimulus (their terms. I call it electrocution), and posture lessons.  Posture lessons?  Apparently my mom didn't teach me to pull my shoulder's back and stick out my tits like a good girl!  (Sorry Mom Just Kidding! :)....(Love you)....  :)
Anyways  I brought my oldest daughter to these crackin's and electrocutions, no posture lessons today. Phew! She laughed her fool head almost the entire time.  Apparently my pain was her happiness!  Honestly, I couldn't be prouder and I'm not kidding.  Because I laugh when other people hurt to, not the serious hurts, just the ouch, dammit that hurts kinda hurts. (Did u follow that?) I guess she takes after me after all. :)  When we got done torturing me for my benefit, we went out to eat at Perkins.  I never seen her so giddy, we ordered, ate our food, then dessert came.  For her French Silk pie, for me Reese's Peanut Butter Silk pie.  She oohed and ahhed like a .....  Well lets just say she enjoyed it!  This was a good night because we spent time alone, no Dad, no brothers and sister.  She got to enjoy me for me and I got to see my girl as her friends see her.  It was wonderful, she's gonna be a fine young woman someday. :)  I guess she already is.
We left there and went to see a woman pretest for black belt in Kyuki Do.  It was an eye opener, to say the least!  Its one thing to have someone tell you what your signing up for and quite another to see it in real life.  Wow and double Wow!  Honestly I am concerned that my body wont be able to go that far.  Which is too bad because my heart wants too.  Its scary stuff, I watched these girls and guy throwing each other around like their opponents were rag dolls! My daughter being the go getter personality was excited and is looking forward to throwing me around.  All I said was "Good luck Honey!"  (I've got a few pounds on twiggy, Im not worried!)  The testers did well and my daughter and I finally know what we are up against.  At least we have each other.  It was truely a good day and I can only Thank God for blessing me with this perfect day.
Thank you Lord Jesus, for this blessed day and may my readers also get to enjoy a day like this soon.  In your mercy I pray, Amen.

Who's the naughty puppy?

My puppy is the naughty puppy!  Lil bitch (yes the word is correct, she is female), ran away last night.  I was certain that she was dead!  All night I dreamt that she was shot, ran over by a car, truck, mini van, semi, etc. etc. etc... OK maybe I over reacted but just a little! (A little much that is.)  When I opened the door this morning she was shivering either from the cold or frighted that I would be angry at her, I'm not sure.  OK it was the cold, my dog is climate controlled.  Spoiled just a little itty bit. Just like everyone else in my family I love to hate them and hate to love them.  (I hope I'm not the only one in the world that feels that way about my loved ones!) 
Well anyways we had her all trained with the invisible fence, she was really good.  Then we left the collar off for the summer.  Big mistake, now she knows when the collar is off she can go.  So we put the collar on, and left the fence off.  Yep, she knows when that trick is pulled now too.  So when we decided to put her back in the collar and the fence on, we find that somewhere in the fence that surrounds 3 acres for our spoiled bitch,  is broken.  The docking station tells us so.  So our spoiled bitch (sorry if your offended by the word, but it is appropriate on so many different levels) knows this and runs. It does us no good to put the collar on.  My husband told me to tie her up because she was running down to Grandmas and Grandpas every day.  Grandma being the caring sort would put her in the car, bring her home, and put her in the porch for me to find when I got home from work.  Id open the door to find a happy but naughty puppy.  I thought she would be good and stay home while the kids and I went to Kyuki Do.  I was wrong of course. She was gone, I called for her, looked for her, called Grandma and Grandpa to see if she was visiting them.  Nope, they went out to see if she was on the deck though!  When it was time for bed, I usually pet her and tell her to watch the house while I lock the door.  I locked the door and she wasn't in my house. It broke my heart. So like I said I had nightmares all night because somebody was a naughty puppy!

 My lil' Bitch all tied up!

Day One

This is her on the first day we got her!  I took this pic to convince my hubby that we needed her! Of course he couldn't resist a blue eyed brunette!  So long story short.  My puppy is tied up, she is safe for now.  I need to put in some new wire this weekend.  I couldn't bare losing her.

Falling Apart

"I thought," said Piglet earnestly, "that if Eeyore stood at the bottom of the tree, and if Pooh stood on Eeyore's back, and if I stood on Pooh's shoulders -"


"And if Eeyore's back snapped suddenly, then we could all laugh. Ha Ha! Amusing in a quiet way," said Eeyore, "but not really helpful."

"Well," said Piglet meekly, "I thought -"

"Would it break your back, Eeyore?" asked Pooh, very much surprised.

"That's what would be so interesting, Pooh. Not being quite sure till afterwards."
 
Yes I have this negative attitude going on at this juncture in my life, and now I am physically falling apart.  So Eeyore is someone I can relate to.  At least hes cute and people still love him!  I have been having pain all down the right side of my body for the past couple of weeks and it has been increasing in severity.  Last night being the worst its been.  It scared me.  My arm went numb and I had a shooting pain by my ear and down my neck.  I did what any respectable person would do... I called my mommy!  Like a good mother she ran down here to bring me to the hospital.  But by the time she got here, my pain decreased leaving me confused, crying and laughing like an  idiot.  So she left giving my children orders to "take care of mom".  Today I went to see a chiropractor who thinks I have a pinched nerve but we are waiting on x-rays to prove it.  She hooked me up to some electrical device that is supposed to stimulate the muscles in my back and neck.  It was supposed to be soothing.  Notice the word "supposed".  Yea not so much.  I will use the words painful and unexpected.  Well tonight I am "supposed" to ice it after Kyuki Do.  We will see. "Hopefully" this will be over soon.  Well at least I can laugh about it now! Later tonight...not so sure.

Inspiration

I was looking for insight on what to post when I came across an interesting individual. His name is George Sheehan. Maybe your familiar with him and maybe your like me; discovering him for the first time. This man lived his life to the fullest.  He didn't start out perfect but he did end up that way.  He was a doctor, an author and a runner.  Here are some of my favorite quotes of his because they fit so well into my life right now.

"Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you you were meant to be."

"If you want to will anything-a race, yourself, your life- you have to go a little berserk."

"Exercise is done against ones wishes and maintained only because the alternative is worse."

"We may think there is will power involved, but more likely... change is due to want (of) power.  Wanting the new addiction more than the old one.  Wanting the new me in preference to the person I am now."

Amazing brainfood... more right brain left brain.  If you want to read more on George click here.

My Support Group

Last night I dreamt that I snuck a smoke and my hubby caught me. When I woke up I felt a lot better! Weird I know. These last few days have been a real struggle for me.  My husband has been very understanding and patient with me.  He is a good man, I couldn't do this without his support.   My coworkers have also helped me get through this rough patch.  They have talked with me, checked in on me periodically through out the day.  What a great group of people!
I knew this was going to be a hard thing to do, it is hard emotionally.  I have such conflicting feelings on this whole battle.  I follow this advice. 1 day at a time, and sometimes 1 minute at a time.  The last few days have been 1 minute at a time.  I conquered it I'm happy to report.  Tomorrow will be 4 weeks quit!  I haven't touched even 1 smoke.  Thanks to all of you for supporting me near and far! I love you. :)

Things that drive me nuts!

OK. Yes, I am touchy. I am usually a touchy person anyway. Be careful with me I often take things wrong and then run with the story.  Being 3 weeks quit. I am touchier, sometimes I can look back and laugh, sometimes not.  Any way I got yelled at by an R.N. today because I took trash out of a surgery room when the case was called.  What the hell?  I am a housekeeper, what was I supposed to do with it? Yes that's right, I was supposed to leave it where it was.  It took her a half an hour to figure out that she was a nut job and come back and apologized.  I could only glare and say all was forgiven.  (My guess was that she didn't believe me.)  I'm over it now of course, but I need to calm down. What a stupid thing to get upset about. (Maybe she just quit smoking too?) I know better. Why can't I just simmer a little? When is my life going to be normal again?  As I type this I wonder if I'm going to get miraculous answers.... Ah no.
Instead I'll give you a poem from McGuffey's Primer.

Work while you work,
Play while you play;
One thing each time,
That is the way.
All that you do,
Do with your might;
Things done by halves
Are not done right.

Keeping Busy and Being Outsmarted.

Today was beautiful, the sun was shining, there was a warm breeze, it was a nice day to get things done.  I opened up the house and refinished my floors in the dining and living areas.  All of this made possible by a younger sister who cared enough to help me get it done! Thank you Candy. The kids were not so enthused when they found out the only way into the house was through the basement though. Personally I found it amusing. We had Kyuki Do classes tonight and studied our Kibon moves with my oldest daughter being the ranking leader of our group. A moment of pride for me. I was called on tonight by the instructor to count to ten in Korean. I only made it to eight!  The instructor had to lead me the rest of the way. So to keep this from happening again I had my oldest teach me the numbers on the way home only to find out that my 6 year old son had picked it up better than me! Moment of motherly pride for the night number 2. (I have to admit it's frustrating to have kids that are smarter than you.) At least I'm still wiser! (for now).
Here's the numbers for the people dying to learn Korean.
1. Hanna 2. Tool 3. Set 4. Net 5. Yosset 6. Tosset 7. Illgolp  8. Yadool 9. Ah Hope 10. Yole

Yes, More Random Incoherent Thoughts

Quitting is tough, I wont lie to you. I'm angry a lot, I chew a lot of gum and mints.  That in turn gives me heartburn so I chew on Tums.  I always have something on hand to chew on.  If I don't, I'll chew on the nearest persons ass!  Work upsets me so I often give out sarcastic remarks that leave people shaking their heads at me. Whatever.  I should care and I do try to care.  I often find myself handing out my mints and gum to other people.  I find their smiles infectious.  I love other peoples happiness!  Today I seen a picture of a man carrying his girlfriend over a flooded bank.  My first thought was "that was sweet", the second was "Guys are still gentlemanly?"  Holy crap!  Tell my husband!  (Just kiddin honey) (sort of...)
See what I mean.  Just a mean old bag these days.  I feel like the poltergeist movie where the persons head spins in circles.  Fine one minute, the next it's WOW where the hell did that come from?  My poor family, it must be hell to constantly not know how I'm gonna react to you. For that I sincerely apologize. I promise that I am really trying to get myself under control and find a routine that suits me. Know that I love you all. To my  coworkers, I also apologize for being a pain in your ass.  But you must admit that I am an extremely productive, efficient and fast paced co worker now!  Breaks who needs them?!  (Just kiddin) (Sort of)
Food is my all time obsession right now.  I read recipes, whereas, I never had the time before, and I didn't care. I do now. I'm always on the look out for fast, easy, healthy, and tasty meals (and cookies).  The newest cookie is oatmeal cherry raisin and walnut.  Haven't made them yet but I bought the stuff for it.
My other big complaint is that I gained 4 lbs and I told myself I wouldn't gain more than 10 total.  I'm only three weeks into this gig and it's time to get more active or something.  So I talked the co workers into our own Biggest Loser Contest.  Its 3 months long.  All loss is in percentage to make it fair for everyone.  We pay to play and then its a dollar for no loss or a gain.  If you lose weight you don't have to pay for that week.  I think this should give me some incentive to get off my hind end!  I do love money and I could always spend it somewhere I'm sure.  Of course that's if I win.  I'll keep you all posted. 

Strength in All Things

Strength is an awesome thing, it is many things.  It is your muscles, it is you mind, it is your spirit. You are either a person with great strength who is admired by all around you or you are the person that caves with the weakness you surround yourself  with. I have often seen people with great strength in my life, people I admire and try to be more like.  One of my great weakness' was smoking, that is not an issue for me anymore, however I do struggle as I am only two weeks into my quit.
  My blog today is about strength and where we pull our strength from.  I pull mine from my family mostly as they are the people I am the closest to.  My children are always a reminder to me how strong and healthy I need to be.  They need me healthy, mind, body, and spirit. My job is to lead by example.  By smoking I was being a poor example for them.  Id tell my oldest not to smoke, drink, or do drugs, while I was puffing away.  Not a good example. Now she sees me struggle to quit, and sees that it was a poor choice to start in the first place.
My parents are true lessons of strength.  They have fought for a life for all six of us children, always giving, always showing strength in their choices.  Some choices were definitely not chosen for being an easy road.  It seems to me that they often took paths less traveled.  They are an awesome pair.  They give advise and experience so that I may choose better paths.  My mother a true model of strength, this woman gives to her family her time, and advise. Call her and she will be there, without fail. Yell at her; she will listen and advise. Trust her and she will not let you down. If I could be half the mother she is it will be enough to make most children happy. I love her deeply. My father a compass of strength.  He is strong in his unwavering ways. He stands for what he believes in. Even if he stands alone. This man is true to himself and those who believe in him. He is there for us when asked of him. I love him dearly.
My siblings are also models of strength. My oldest sister battles with her own demons and has shown nothing but love and acceptance of others.  She could be bitter and hateful to the world, but instead love and hugs are what is given. Her love and trust in God for all things is what drive her. To her I give the award for Strength Of Spirit. She is inspiring. My 2nd older sister has had a tough life the past five years due to circumstances beyond her control. Most women would have ran, took a one way ticket to anywhere but here. She stays, she loves, she maintains, she manages. She brings tears to my eyes. To her I give the award to for Strength Of Mind. She is amazing. My younger sister has been my protector. Always looking out for me. She is the strongest person I know.  She can do so much, there has never been any thing she couldn't do that she put her mind to. (Its the red hair, it makes her stubborn!) She does everything with willful determination, she conquers like Joan of Arc. (no tragic ending though). To her I give her I give the award for Strength of Body. My Lil brother is also a show of strength, he uses his mind  for all things. It is all carefully analyzed before a move is made.  Sometimes he just gives b.s answers to see if he can get away with it, and I often fall prey to these. Thankfully his eyes twinkle or I'd miss it. So to him I give the award of  Strength of Mind, but he should get the award for Strength of B.S! I love you Lil Bro :)
I also find strength in friends how they handle their family, work and life.  They each have their own trials and tribulations to go through. They each have their own strength to handle them. They are all admirable in their own ways.

Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing.  Use the pain as fuel, as reminder of your strength.

-August Wilson   American Writer 1945-2005

The One That Got Away

We spent two days fishing, my husband being the best fish guide I've ever had in my life. He almost always finds a place to catch fish. I love that about him, but who wouldn't  like to have a guide that produces fish?  We were on the hunt for the ever elusive "river monster", the monstrosity of all monstrosity's, aka Lake Sturgeon.  These beauty's are prehistoric fish they were around with the dinosaurs, they are amazing!  They can grow to 6.5 feet, but have been found larger. The males can live to be 55 years old, while the females can live to be 150 years old. Lake Sturgeon put up a fight that can leave your arm muscles sore, and you find yourself winded IF you can manage to get one of these fighters in the boat! They have tough skin so it is hard to penetrate it with a hook when they do finally find your hook. 
Now that you have their facts, I'll tell you my story.
 My first fish was Friday night after sunset, and pretty dark.  I waited 3 hours for this one to find my hook.  I set the hook pretty good too, I fought him for about 5 min. before he decided to go down river.  My hubby pulled anchor and the chase was on!  My hubby really wanted me to get him turned around because we were headed towards the rapids and that's too dangerous to be playing with a fish in the dark.  I was having a hard time doing as requested, my fish had a mind of its own.  My husband was starting to get a little nervous about the rapids and decided to head for a bay about 20 ft in front of the boat.  He hit the gas and my line snapped abruptly!  I looked at my hubby with wild eyes.  Hung my head and had a small cry back up river. That sucked even he can tell you, that sucked.  Rule #1 you can not get bucky with these fish, they know how to break a line. These are by no means a "stupid fish".  They haven't lived to be that old because they were stupid.  My second fish was Saturday morning just after dawn, I set the hook pulled her up to the boat where she took a look at us, decided she didn't want any part of us and promptly headed downriver taking my line with her like it was a spool of thread.  "OK hon, lets go!" I yell with delight! My honey pulls anchor and nothing happened. I started to get worried my line was half gone, we were stuck on some rocks in the river!  My ever capable hero grabs the oar puts it on the rocks and gives a mights shove.  We were free and headed down river with out a minute to spare because my line being 95% gone.  He fires up the air boat and we follow her down and across stream.  I take back my line as fast as I can keeping tension on the hook.  "Don't get bully" my hubby reminds me. I make a small prayer to God that this fish is the required 60 inches to keep and that I get her in the boat.  We pull up to her, I hold the line taunt, my hubby holds the boat steady, she takes another look at us and still decides she wants no part of us.  Downriver she goes; its like she opened a parachute on the current, my reel screaming as she departs. "Now I know she's big enough", I happily report to my honey! He smiles and nods his head as we follow her, we pass her up, my honey circles her but decides to stay up river.  "Keep her away from the boat, she will use it to cut the line" my hubby advises me. Well that wasn't a problem because she turned around and headed upriver without missing a beat.  That was her fatal flaw, it wasn't long before she tired of that and headed back down. Where I pulled her next to the boat, my hubby gently coasted to the side of the river, banking us.  He grabbed her tail and pulled her in! "She's a fat beast" my hubby proclaims! "Must be 40 to 50lbs, no your last one was 40 and wasn't this fat, must be 50," he decides. We measure her, 59 inches. "Straighten her up" I'm instructed. We get 59.5 outta her.  I look at her, shes majestic, shes fat, shes got scars all over her, proving her rough and tough life style, her skull is cracked and healed over. The DNR put a transmitter in her fin, it was corroded from years in the river.  We decide to quickly get some pics for proof and get her back into the river. I can barely hold this river monster as my hubby takes 3 pics. I set her tail in, gently lower her in, look into her small eyes and told her Id like to see her again next year.  Away she went promising to not return for another visit.


Thank You God and Lenny

God isn't without a sense of humor, this beauty was just under my requested 60 inches.  We went back upriver, I prayed again for my fish.  I caught a snag, I tightened my drag wrapped my arm in the line and pulled to break the line.  As I'm tying the hook on, I'm praying with all my heart,"God please, I want this fish, I have to leave soon I promised to be back to make breakfast for the kids.  I have to leave at 10."  I throw the line in, the clouds are covering the sun.  I look up I knew then that the minute the sun broke the clouds my fish would be on, and my prayers answered.  Sure enough the sun broke, my fish was on! I brought it up quickly,"I think its a catfish, it's coming to easy" I said.  "No its a sturgeon, look how the line is moving,"stated the experienced fisherman. It surfaced.  It was a huge, at least 6.5 ft Lake Sturgeon! My eyes grew as I stared at this fish. I cry out, "Oh God Thank you!" Then my fish jumped and my line snapped.  We stare at the empty spot in disbelief.  My heart dropped, "this was my fault", I explain, "God gave me what I asked for but I wasn't prepared." I forgot to release the drag after I tightened it to break the line.  I messed up and as my hubby says "You will never forget the one that got away."

Head Colds and Guns.

Its sounds scary I know but I was just starting to write my post for the day, when my Gunsmith called and told me my shotgun was fixed! I was so elated that I quickly shut down the site(so I lost what I started with), grabbed the kids and ran out the door. (I promised him I could make it before he closed for the night)  When I got there, he was on the phone so I looked around for a bit.  I found this wood grain Browning 30-06 and its pretty well balanced I might add.  I got to thinking that maybe its time for me to get a new gun.  After all my hubby just got a new one last year, maybe its my turn. 
On the other hand, I do have a pretty mean head cold and I might not be thinking clearly at all.  My head is stuffed up and I can barely breathe.  I think this is a rather unfair situation, I mean I just quit smoking, shouldn't I be reaping all the bennys from being a nonsmoker? Like being Healthy?(pout pout).
Of course it can't be that bad, when I got home from the Gunsmiths place I made my target, set it up, loaded up my slugs, and shot off 5 rounds.  I must admit, its been 3 months since I touched that gun and have been using my honey's 12g.  So it took 2 to figure out that I was low and to the left. After that I got them centered but just low and just high. Now I'm blaming the rest of it on my head cold, on the fact I couldn't just hit my target. Just low and Just high, that's Just disgusting!
I'm hoping that all the juice I'm drinking, the Airborne, and Tylenol Sinus tabs I'm taking; maybe just maybe all that crap will shoot this head cold outta my body like a slug from my shotgun!
Couldn't even think about smoking today, too sick to want to.  I never was a good sick smoker.  It was the only time I could quit with out caring.
Lord please make Serena and me healthy, and please keep the rest of them from getting this disease!
In your mercy I pray. Amen.

A Good Day

 Today is my one week anniversary for my quit date! It was a smooth sailing day today!  I started my day off with a cup of Hot Apple Cider instead of my usual coffee.  I think it helped to not stick to the same old routine. I never really had an urge to smoke, I didn't have to breathe deeply or chew the hell outta mints and gum. I actually gave away mints to everyone who walked in my path looking like they were having a bad day.  Just so you know, mints happen to make people smile and say nice things.  I thought only chocolate could do that! :)
I added the WI Quit Line web link to my blog site.  You can find it at the bottom of the page along with my other favorite links. Eventually I'll figure out how to make this site a beauty.  I'm just hacking my way through this. Its fun though, it was a good idea to use this as a deterrent from smoking. (Kari, ur site caused me to want to do this; so Thank you!)
Today was my 2nd Kyuki-Do class. It was intense, I loved every minute of it! I have to admit the high snap kicks are by far my favorite and my best accomplishment.  I can get my foot higher each time,(although I'm sure that one of these times I'm gonna end up on my butt with a bunch of little kids pointing and laughing!) My two oldest kids did awesome tonight too. They were on the ball with every Korean word that was yelled out. How cool is that? (I didn't do that good, the foreign language eludes me and I stand there looking to see what everyone else is doing. I could really use a Kyuki-Do cheat sheet!)

Go Forth to Life

By Samuel Longfellow

Go forth to life, oh! child of Earth.
Still mindful of thy heavenly birth;
Thou art not here for ease or sin,
But manhood's noble crown to win.

Though passion's fires are in thy soul,
Thy spirit can their flames control;
Though tempters strong beset thy way,
Thy spirit is more strong than they.

Go on from innocence of youth
To manly pureness, manly truth;
God's angels still are near to save,
And God himself doth help the brave.

Then forth to life, oh! child of Earth,
Be worthy of thy heavenly birth,
For noble service thou art here;
Thy brothers help, thy God revere!

And that my friends is today's virtue of Self Discipline, which I am certain that I will need to be, in the battle ahead! Good night to all of you, take care and God bless you in your battles and journeys ahead. May your days be smooth and free of bumps!

Story Time

First I have to say Go Pack Go! Good job today Packers, I enjoyed the game but they need a little work getting the offence and defence in line. Perserverance will be the key, as it is for me and that is where todays story will come from.  I found it in "The Book of Virtues" by William J. Bennett, the chapter of Perseverance.

                 

 You Mustn't Quit

When things go wrong, as they somtimes will,

When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest! if you must--but never quit.

Life is queer, with twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many a failure turns about

When he might have won if he'd stuck it out;

Stick to your task, though the pace seems slow--

You may succeed with one more blow.

Success is failure turned inside out-

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt

And you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems afar;

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--

 It's when things seem worst that YOU MUSTN'T QUIT.

I like this story at this time in my life, it really speaks to me.  The hardest part of quitting smoking is that it never seems like theres a good time.  Theres always some stress, some wedding, funeral, lifes to hectic to try and quit. Theres always an excuse to go back to smoking.  Some "trigger" to pop up in your life, to send you back down the spiral of being a smoker.
Today we had a few things to do today and in between places to be I had the kids pick up the house while I did the dishes.  My youngest son was pouting about it pretty good and was appealing to my husband for a second opinion on chores. My hubby looked at his son and asked "Whats the matter buddy? Life got you down? Are you over-worked and underpaid?"  This only got a look of frustration from my son, but I on the other hand could not contain my laughter!  How true, poor kid gets nothing but a simple "thank you" from me, because I believe that I shouldn't have pay kids to clean up a house that they messed up in the first place. Isn't that just encouraging them to be messier?  Instead I encourage them to hurry it up so that we can get on to the better parts of the day.   That too, is perseverance I think.

And more Random InCoherent Thoughts.....

What a day! I got to be with my honey all day alone for the better part of it anyways. Its been over 3 weeks since I've been alone with him. Too long I think. We went sturgeon fishing, got 2 Catfish and seen 3 nice sturgeon jumps. That was it for the activity, better luck next time! We went and got the kids, then went to Maple Hill to watch Hubby and his family shot gun bowl. He got a Spare tonight Im pretty proud of him!
I feel bad about taking him outta there right away, cause I couldn't handle the smoking. It was pretty tough cause I could really associate that with having a good time. In my mind; I see it as so much sexier than it really is, I see Marilyn Monroe with her long cigerette laid back, smoothly talking some idle chit chat. Its just not that cool or smooth, but in my mind, it is. How to get over that image is beyond me.
Today was also tough because I spent the entire day outside, which is the only place I could smoke without any worries. So I kept wanting that smoke, reaching for it, breathing for it, at times I could almost taste it.  The nicotine addiction was pretty scary today, along with the habit of just smoking because it was a normal behavior for me for about 15 years.  That is was pretty ingrained into my daily routine.
But I made it through the day. One day at a time, and some days(apparently) one hour at a time. I will get through this, I just wish I had cookie dough kyuki-do classes to get to.
Ok time to tell you my love affair with cookie dough.
My other addiction is cookie dough especially cookie dough ice cream, (just ask the kids. they will tell you that I dont share)(ever). Anywho, my friend and I were watching the kids practice in class. She asked me why there were different uniforms, I honestly didn't notice but to appease her I looked and noticed the difference. Some kids had dragons on their backs and some kids had the word Kyuki-Do. OF course I pronounced it wrong,(I always do). I started laughing and told her that I could definately join a group that was honoring cookie dough no matter how they spell it!(I will follow the rules of Cookie Dough and never misuse them!) Sorry maybe thats funny if you knew the rules of Kyuki-Do. Im hoping that I now have warped your mind enough, that when you see the word Kyuki-Do all you can pronounce is COOKIE DOUGH!  And if you see it my way then perhaps Im not so crazy after all, welcome to my warped little world, where words say what you want them to and not what was intended to be read. (Or was it?)
hehehe.....

Faulty Mechanics or Not.

Today was interesting, I never wanted to smoke, persay but I kept getting this odd feeling in my head. Like some "buzzy" feeling. It was odd. My heart would race, it felt alot like anxitity. This must be my body screaming for the nicotine it is used to getting.  Hopefully it will be over soon.  I fight this feeling with exercise upon direction from my mother (yes, the woman gives good advice) and my co-workers. I walked up and down 6 flights of stairs, followed by briskly walking around the building for 10 minutes. It seemed to wind me enough to not want to smoke. When I got home, that buzzy feeling was still there so I talked my oldest into biking with me. It went something like this: "Hey do you want to walk with me"? She raises her eyebrows at me. "C'mon" I tell her "You have to exercise me or I'll get cranky and mean again".
 "Fine" she sighs "but we are gonna bike it".  We get on the road and I'm in the lead, I kept looking back at her, she was getting further and further behind."Wierd" I think, Its mostly downhill. "Whats taking you so long"? She mumbles something about Grandpa "fixing her bike too good". I laugh, shake my head and keep peddeling.  We get to the Stop sign a mile down the road, thats where we turn around and go uphill the majority of the way home. This is where the work out begins. I get to the crest of the first hill, look back there is my skinny healthy young daughter walking her bike up the hill! (Sorry honey, you said I could blog this) "What are you doing!" I cry. "Sorry Mom" came the reply. "Sweety, are you going to let a woman who is 3 times your age and a smoker, beat you up this hill"? I ask, grinning. Once again she mumbles something about Grandpa "fixing her bike too good". I beat her home, she walked up 2 hills and biked the final hill home.  I called Grandpa. "Did you fix Serena's gears on her bike" I ask. He replys that he didn't but that they could use some WD40.  (Ha!) So the bike is greased and I can't wait to take the girl again. We will see if its faulty mechanics or if I am in better shape than a skinny teeny bopper! (Cmon Sweety, you gotta exercise your mom!) LOL.

To Quit or Not To Quit?

My Shakespearen Question for me is answered, it is making me doubt my sanity though. I have quit smoking and am on Day 3.(Kudos to me!)  It all started with my family.  My hubby constant naggin' was an obvious one. lol. But the real kicker for me was my oldest daughter. She got a free trial for one month of Martial Arts class. I watched and fell in love! I thought that it was too expensive at first, then I calculated it from the 6 month price down to what it would cost me for 1 week.  $50 per week. That isnt so bad, but I had to have a way to sell it to my Hubby.  That took me awhile to figure out.... Yeppers people, thats right, I gave up my Cancer Buddies for Martial Arts. I switched one habit for another addiction. (Crazy; maybe)
What I didn't plan on was that my classes would only take up 45min. for only 2 days a week of my time. Yea theres a BIG gap in there.  Smokin sure sounds pretty good, but then I see my 4 kids and their uniforms hanging in their rooms ready for when class finally gets here. So that leads me to another new habit. Blogging.  Not sure if I can commit to being a regular blogger, but I do need to find something that will take up my time and keep me from going crazy(ier).
Wise man said that nothing worth fighting for would be easy. Its things that are hard won that were worth the effort. That would be my motto for quitting smoking. Im choosing to do it "Cold Turkey" because I used all that nicotine replacement shit and it didn't keep me from starting up again. I've wasted alot of money on quit smoking schemes and Im done.  My plan is to chew gum, mints and Kyuki-Do til the pain goes away.(No it isnt pronounced "cookie dough" thats a story for next blog)